Straight off the bat, I have to let you know that this isn’t some kind of walk in the park. Getting your ex back is challenging, confronting, and will push you to your limits.
But, if you’re already the kind of guy who can admit that it’s his fault that his partner is in the arms of another Man, I think you’ll be able to push through it.
Step 1: Work out what kind of Man she’s attracted to
To get you ex back, she needs to be attracted to you. That’s pretty obvious. But, to get her back, you have to work out what kind of Man she’s attracted to.
Different kinds of women are attracted to different Men. To get her back, you have to work out what kind of Man she’s looking for.
There are a few different ways you can do this:
1. Ask her
She may or may not be willing to talk to you but if you approach it gently and from the right place, she might open up to you. If she’s still interested in making this work, then she’ll definitely be keen to point you in the right direction.
Unless she’s an exceptionally aware woman, you’re going to need to look through her answers to see what’s really going on underneath.
Have a read of this article for a hand at it
2. Look at the guys she’s seeing now
This is a tough one to do. It requires balls of steel to actually ask her about the guys she’s seeing but it will help you.
As she’s telling you, listen through her words to what’s really going on underneath. Once again, read this article:
3. Think back over everything you did that turned her on
This one should be a bit easier for you and you can do it regardless of what mood she’s in.
Think back over your relationship – especially the start – and focus on all the things you did that really got her going.
4. Think back over everything that turned her off
Just like above, you can do it without her cooperation.
Think back over your relationship – especially the end – and focus on all the things you did that really pushed her away. And once again, look through what you did and how she reacted to see what was really at plan. You can find that ‘underneath layer’ here:
Step 2: Work out if being that kind of Man will allow you to be free, happy, and fulfilled, regardless of whether or not she wants you back
There’s no point in going on this journey of becoming the kind of Man that she desires to be with if it means your life is going to be otherwise empty and unfulfilling.
If you’re not fulfilled, happy, and free because of the way you life your life then it won’t matter what you change because she’s not going to want to be with you.
You need to make sure that this journey you’re about to embark on is what you’re looking for so you can add to the relationship rather than try and get from it.
To understand just how important this step is, have a read through this post on the forum
Step 3: Come up with a plan to become that kind of Man
Step one and two were all about developing an endpoint. But getting to that endpoint by shooting in the dark will take you a long time.
To make sure you’re always taking positive and powerful action and becoming the kind of Man that your ex desires to be with (and that will be rewarding and fulfilling to you) come up with a detailed and specific plan to become the kind of Man you’ve always dreamed about.
There are 5 crucial steps in developing this plan. I go into detail about all of them here:
Step 4: Clear the slate
Now that you’re know where you’re going and how you’re getting there, it’s time to bring your ex in on it as well.
Organise to meet her and lay it all out on the table. Tell her:
1. That you take responsibility
2. Where you went wrong
3. That you still want to be with her
4. What you’ve decided to do about it
5. How you’re going to achieve that
2. Where you went wrong
3. That you still want to be with her
4. What you’ve decided to do about it
5. How you’re going to achieve that
Lay it all out there so she knows what’s going on.
It may be too late. She may have already moved on in her head and not want to give it a crack.
It’s fine if she does. To be honest though, it doesn’t really matter what she says because attraction isn’t a logical choice. If you can be the kind of Man that makes her feel the way she wants to, then it wont matter what she’s said in the past.
Step 5: Ruthlessly and fully live that plan and become the Man of your dreams.
This is the most important step. If you do everything else but don’t so this one, nothing will change.
Having a plan is a great step. Telling her your plan is very beneficial. But there’s no way you will ever get your ex back unless you live this plan in every moment.
Not just when you feel like it, not just when you think someone is watching, not just when you think the time is right — you have to live it all the time.
You have to live it right from the first second you wake up to the last second before you go to bed.
This is for three very good reasons:
1. Continual reinforcement
The patterns you’ve been living that were responsible for your ex-girlfriend leaving you are deep and automatic and probably have years of reinforcement behind them.
It’s going to take conscious and continual dedication to transform them.
Not just a day, not just a week, but long term commitment – probably for the amount of years you’ve been practising the old patterns for.
2. It’s how you get what you want, regardless of her reaction
I’m going to guess that becoming the kind of Man that your ex desires to be with involves becoming free, happy, and fulfilled without her.
If you’re just taking action when you think people are watching or when you’re standing in front of her, then you’re not going to be experiencing everything you’re looking for without her.
You need to be living your life on your terms doing what you love and what you need to do, when you need to do it.
If you’re just doing this as a quick trick to fool your ex into thinking you’re someone you’re not, then it’s going to fail.
If you’re doing this to reach your full potential and bringing your ex along for the ride, then it will be the most incredible journey you’ve ever been on.
3. It’s the way out of the hole
Getting your ex back is actually harder than attracting a new woman.
When you meet a new woman, you’re starting with a clear slate. You’re automatically at neutral and you can go either way.
When you try and get your ex back, you’re starting at a deficit. The one area where you’re specifically in deficit in is trust.
She thought you were the kind of Man she wanted to be with, you showed her so much potential, and then you let her down.
You need to live your plan fully in every moment, even when you think she’s not looking, to show her that she can trust you again.
You need to show her that you’re the kind of Man she can rely on through thick and thin to be that strong dependable rock for her.
This will only happen when you’re able to live your life fully, freely, and openly in every moment.
I’m not going to try and pretend that this is simple. It takes dedication, commitment, focus, and planning. But, and I can guarantee you of this, this will be the most incredible journey you have EVER been on.
If you’re nervous about taking this journey on by yourself and want personal guidance on this journey with a group of guys who’re also dedicated to transforming their life, check this out:
In Conclusion…
Yes, it is possible to get your ex back. You can have her once again.
It just takes 5 simple steps:
Step 1: Work out what kind of Man she’s attracted to
Step 2: Decide if you want to be that Man
Step 3: Create an action plan to become that Man
Step 4: Clear the slate
Step 5: Live you plan
Step 2: Decide if you want to be that Man
Step 3: Create an action plan to become that Man
Step 4: Clear the slate
Step 5: Live you plan
It’s not going to be easy and it’s not going to be fast, but if you’re committed and dedicated, you can make this happen.
Good luck,
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